The Life & Memories of Joshua Scott Hotchkin
In order of date written, not the time the events themselves happened.
The Story of Cowfucker Bill – My teenage experiences with a man who had been bullied his entire life are not necessarily my proudest moments.
When We Was Gangsta – When you live in a small, redneck town, just having black friends can get you on the cops list of top gangsters.
Kill Da Wabbit – A close childhood friend and I share a moment that has shaped my entire life.
ABBA vs. KISS in Bullytown – How my childhood musical nemesis was browbeaten into mental illness by bullying, but not by me.
Born to Blaspheme – About the same time I stopped using training wheels, I began breaking the law and damaging God’s property.
A Christmas Fire – Right around the time I turned five years old I lost my home, while a less lucky teenager lost his life.
Earliest Memories – Scraps of memories from my first few years.
How I Quit A Fake Job With A Fake Medical Emergency – As it turns out, allergies can be super duper convenient.
Punched in the Soul – An encounter with the down and out leaves me feeling helpless and depressed.
The Literal Wooden Indian – Hank Williams, chocolate covered cherries, clowns playing mandolins, and a lifelong discomfort with taking things literally.
Portrait of the Artist As A Google Street Capture – “The next day the shadow of my shitty pants hung over me like a shadow of shitty pants that I shat.”
An Unwanted American Disability Sex Act – Hotel maintenance work leads to lots of weird stuff, but nothing as weird as the time I received unwanted sexual advances from a compliance officer of the ADA.
Basically This Is About All You Need to Know About Life – How some foul cottage cheese from a motel salad bar and a subsequent sickly drive through a magical storm in the Land of Enchantment reminded me to have a sense of humor.
She Thinks She Missed the Train to Mars, She’s Out Back Blowing Slipknot – The year was 1997, and somehow my love life collided with the bands Hum and Slipknot simultaneously.
Teargas, Cocaine & Earthquakes – Tales From The Emerald City – A memoir of my time in Seattle during 2001.
Archers of Loaf Are My New Religion – The meaning of life is joy and beauty, since one of their 1998 shows is the height of that, AOC are my divine figurehead.
It Used To Come In Bricks With Little Orange Worms – Weed stories from way before I ever even got high for the first time, and a few from after.
Donut Showdown with the Westside Mob Boss – A donut addicted maniac claims to have local mafia connections he will use against me as vengeance for delaying his gluttony by minutes.
The Maggie May Dance Assault – Forced to dance to a song I hate by a pair of small town cougars.
Enough About the Chicken – Babysitting a good friend during a misadventure with motion sickness drugs, and the pitfalls of aging and friendship.
The Lost Car Story – Tripping on mushrooms and some apparently supernatural driving led to me losing a car deep in the Iowa woods on a hunting trail.
Coming In Cold – Beer, Toss, Cops – I once threw a beer at some cops and would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for some dumbass who wouldn’t shut up and got himself blamed, forcing me to confess to save him a beating.
Monday Like A Motherfucker – A drive across Oklahoma that was just a nonstop series of icky bullshit.