Guns & Abortions: Everyone Leaves Angry

tl;dr – Fuck gun control, but also fuck guns and gun-lovin’. – and- There are too many damn people and gestation is the perfect time for murder.

These articles both originally appeared at my website UnicornWorld.org.

I Don’t Like Guns But I Don’t Like Gun Control Either

Unraveling the bigger picture behind one of the most divisive issues in the modern world – guns and gun control.

It is not that I tried to become someone who holds ideas that piss off both sides of the normal conversation, but it usually turns out that way. This writing will be no different in these regards. Actually, I did try to become that someone. My bad. Or is it?

First we shall start with the easy part of this semi-automatic rant, since honestly I have nothing new to add here. There is no such thing as gun control. There is only a monopoly on guns by the same trigger happy robots that would be the ones to take other peoples guns away with even bigger ones. Those trigger happy robots are in the service of a type of organization, the state, which is responsible for the greatest share of death and destruction throughout human civilization.

Gun control advocates, though often well intended, are absurdly naive about what gun control means. They ascribe a terrifyingly naive literalism which allows them to somehow believe that guns are safe only in the hands of those who have most misused them historically.

I will not belabor why gun control is an irrational ideology constructed from fear without logical merit. It has already been done by many before me. I am looking much more forward to deconstructing the equally absurd beliefs of gun enthusiasts.

“Gun rights are not for preserving hunting, they are for protecting ourselves from an intrusive government.”

Cool story, bros. But guess what? The state has already trampled all over you. They steal from you and keep you under the perpetual threat of violence. They spy on you, prohibit your private healthcare decisions and essentially own your ass on paper.

What are you waiting for? Are the only rights you are willing to protect with your guns your gun rights? To what purpose? Just to have a gun so you can have a gun so you can have a gun? They can steal, threaten, spy and enslave you and you will chill on the revolutionary shit so long as they let you have your guns while they do it? Are you even listening to yourselves?

There is also the fact that the state has known weapons so massive and/or bizarre that your bullets are like engorged gnats to them. And that is just the shit we know about.

If guns against government was actually a thing, it would have been time to start about a century ago. That ship has sailed for good.

Man the fuck up and admit your gun obsession is a childhood fixation with shit that goes BOOM!

Most gun enthusiasts wear an air of grim pretension about their objects of obsession. Totally serious business stuff, guys. I find this fascinating since the BOOM archetype of boyish fantasy is so obviously present.

Now before you get your boxers in a bundle, hear me out. I fucking love heavy metal and horror movies and other things which are obviously holdover obsessions from my childhood. Everyone does this in one way or another. “Adult” is a social construct that only applies when it is defined during its usage. As a basic concept, it is meaningless. We are just all some old ass children and parts of us will always be dedicated to the hyperbolistic romances of our youth. Sometimes that means owning all of the original Ace-era KISS on vinyl, and sometimes it means having 19 firearms and getting a thrill out of that exhilarating violence they suggest.

And that is what a gun is, an artifact symbolic of pure violence. Even if you claim to keep it around for ‘peace’, the gun itself is an object of violence. It ain’t no good for nuthin’ else. Am I the only person who actually fucking listened to Lynyrd Skynyrd?

Your dopey ass public ammosexuality could actually be making guns more dangerous.

When you use your gun obsession to virtue signal masculinity in public, you embolden gun users in ways that can have deadly outcomes.

Recently a guy who was drunk wandered into what he mistook as his friends home. As he was showering a man came in, and thinking it was an intruder in his friends house, he threatened the man; even though his threats were pretty weak considering he was naked, wet and unarmed. That man was actually the homeowner. He left the house, grabbed a gun, and came back and shot the drunken shower interloper. Pure needless tragedy ensued.

Now this fella who did the shooting…it could be that he is a serious asshole who has just been waiting his whole life for a situation in which killing another human being seemed permissible. It could also just be that he thought he was doing the right thing because he lives in an echo chamber of masculinity virtue signals that validated and reinforced the idea of “self defense” to an absurd degree. A degree to which he honestly believed he was not only justified, but maybe even felt a bit heroic for killing a drunk, wet, naked man that was no clear threat to him.

And if so, he will be fucking haunted the rest of his life by that shit, whether he ends up in prison or walks free. Nothing can ever get that out of his mind so he has approximately two choices (besides deal with it rationally, which I try not to assume will just happen…ever) to deal with this.

Choice number one is to be destroyed by the violence. To feel regret and self-hatred and face a future full of depression and existential despair and become a danger to his own self.

The second choice is to roll with it and become the kind of guy who identifies himself according to his own history of and propensity for violence. He then becomes a danger to everyone else.

Now if we accept the narrative that I laid out, which is that his violence seemed justified and rational to him according to the worldview he is entwined in, then you can see how being so adamantly pro-gun in public might help push some people into unnecessary violence that none of us wants. Of course, I have no idea what his actual motivations were and my speculation here is just that. But it is based in basic logic and human psychology and is illustrative regardless of the facts none of has or may ever have about the intent involved in this tragedy.

Have you tried stealth mode?

My dad recently went hunting with a group of redneck bozos he knows. He was just going to spot for them. He said he knew that their trip was doomed the moment the camouflaged clowns hopped out of their high decibel exhaust truck, slammed the doors, and proceeded to squawk at each other like junior high girls at a whoever-the-current-equivalent-to-Justin-Beiber-is concert. And they continued their boisterous conversation right into the woods, where they must have assumed the spawn of Bambi and Helen Keller was just waiting for them to come pluck out effortlessly.

I don’t think you have to have any hunting experience to see the problem here. And this brings me to a lesson which gun owners may want to take to heart. There is another thing you probably obsessed over as a kid as you were playing army in the woods with your friends – stealth. Embrace that shit. Chill the fuck out and keep your boyish obsessions to yourselves, or at least don’t be surprised when your fanaticism scares people and makes them support radical anti-gun approaches.

Wait for it…

I have no interest in supporting any kind of monopoly of guns by the state. I am staunchly opposed to gun control. But guess what? Also fuck guns.

Yes, I said it. Fuck guns. Guns are lazy protection. There is nothing sporting about playing with the kinds of toys you can buy at Wal Mart. There is nothing grand or noble about guns or weaponry at all. We should be glad to evolve past that shit, not still be critically hung up on it as a key divisive issue of humanity.

If I could nod my head and wink away every modern weapon on the planet, I would. I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. We are far enough along socially and technologically that we should welcome the challenge of disarming threats without the barbaric violence of deadly weapons. And that will happen someday.

But also new technologies will eventually make guns and many modern weapons useless. Force shields and other future technologies will render ballistics obsolete. At that point you will throw your gun in the recycler and reuse the energy to recreate some kind of useful object like food or robotic sex dolls.

Swords to plowshares, bitchiz.

Time to evolve witchyo pew pew pew asses.

And that is the story of the story of how I pissed off both equally absurd sides of the gun narrative and then ended abruptly with a few awkward sentences that didn’t really seem to tie anything together. The. End.


On Abortion: Why I Am Straight Up Okay With Fetal Homicide

As a contrarian conservationist, radical anti-traditionalist and fundamentalist neo-rationalist I believe life begins at conception and gestation is probably the best time to kill people.

Yeah, kinda just came in hard with that, didn’t I? Better buckle up, because this ride ain’t getting any less bumpy.

Pro-choicers have a problem, and that problem is that their entire liberal ethos allegedly eschews violence. And yet killing fetuses is probably almost definitely violence. To resolve their bullshit they have come up with the incredibly idiotic theory that you aren’t a real person until you make it past the clitoris. TOUCHDOWN!

The rationalizations are often sciencey. They aren’t really science, but they use scientistic language to create ‘stages’ in which to arbitrarily place “life” where it is politically expedient and morally convenient for pro-choicers.

However if we look to chemistry, the most definitively ‘hard’ science, we can pretty easily dismiss the “not alive til” nonsense.

If you make a compound from two chemicals, the act of mixing those chemicals has created that compound. There will be an initial reaction as the compound is formed, but at no time is this mixture something other than the compound. To do so, you would have to separate the original two chemicals.

Ergo, if you fertilize ovum with semen, you have created an initial reaction (gestation) that is a quality of the compound (life).

Further scientistic rhetorical maneuvering will never resolve the amount of bullshit it takes to place the beginning of life anywhere but at conception. And if you have to deny the obvious to justify your beliefs and actions, then that puts your beliefs and actions into question. Which is a fucking shame because…

I think anybody should be able to have an abortion for any reason if they want to. Even transgendered goat-people with bubble gum wombs.

There are seven and a half billion people alive today and we don’t need the extra hands on the farm no more. Life is not a miracle. Miracles are rare. Human life is not. It is pretty fucking awesome, but it doesn’t stay that way long if cheapened by excess.

Would you let weeds and pests overtake your garden because life is such a miracle? Hell no. What makes the life in the garden valuable is a carefully cultivated use of its resources for specific outcomes. You pull a weed out because it uses resources and threatens the plants that have value to you.

Now that value comes down to many things. Taste preferences. Nutritional needs. Toxicology. Etc. For that reason one persons dinner is another persons invasive weed, and vice versa. One species home is another’s food, and yet a poison to some others.

Can you imagine if we let some people dictate how other people grew their gardens just because it did not meet their values? That would seem like the most insanely authoritarian thing ever, because it would be. But if you suggest someone shouldn’t have such power of decision over their own uterus because you are baby-crazy you might get elected to one of the highest positions in the world. Go figure.

Babies are valuable to people who want to have babies. Pregnancy is valuable to people who want to be pregnant. Life is a miracle to people who want to be alive.

Now you may be no better at math than chemistry, but you must realize there is a limit to how many humans a planet can support? If human growth continues as it has the past few centuries, exponentially, we are going to overcome that limit. Which means a lot less people are going to have the luxury of living.

Like a garden, we must weed our species so it does not become overgrown.

The most rational place to start, without getting all eugenicidal, is letting those who don’t want to grow babies opt out. Aside from birth control, abortion by professionals is the safest and most fair way of avoiding overpopulation.

Yes, babies get killed. Killing is generally pretty wrong. But without some killing there is lots of death. Probably most of us would rather have died as a fetus than live through an overpopulation apocalypse. Despite the fact that we tend to romanticize apocalypse these days, starving to death while everyone tries to kill each other over the last bits ain’t a lot of fun. Surrendering your humanity to survive longer against the inevitable death of you and most or all of your species is not the best situation to be in. Trust me, you’d far rather just check in to this world for a few months and pop back out. And never having to leave the warmth and comfort of the womb your whole life? Bonus!

Hell, if you believe in an afterlife, this is probably the best case scenario. Experience as little of the world as possible then off to the afterlife, where they probably have top notch refreshments and entertainment. That is unless you are one of those sickos who believe ‘unsaved’ babies go to purgatory or hell. In that case you are probably the same kind of asshole who calls yourself a pro-lifer while cheering on wars, police killings and genocides. And you should know that nobody with any intelligence or decent values whatsoever takes you seriously on any level. Obvious hypocrisy is obvious.

In summary, I am all for abortions. I am just also equally against bullshit logic. Abortion is mercy.

However I must make a few amendments, lest some political position I did not support is assumed here.

  • Nobody should be able to prevent you from having an abortion for any reason at any time. Your body, your choice. But also your responsibility. If you want others to help you fund your abortions, then you surrender responsibility, at which time you have no reasonable expectation to make your choices unimpeded. Your absent minded lust is not anybody else’s business, but if you make it so, don’t be surprised that you lose control of other related areas of your life’s choices.
  • If women want all the power to make this decision, then men should not be held liable for that decision. Neither for aborting or raising a child. Compulsive state-enforced child support puts the pro-choicers in the same hypocritical position as warmongering pro-lifers.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

now give me some money

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