Am I Trying to Destroy the Universe?

Sometimes I wonder if what I believe to be my best intentions are actually the most destructive path possible, and for good reasons.

During my journeys into the Long Dark Night of the Soul (as differentiated from Chapel Perilous) I often found myself pondering one particular question.

Is the destruction of reality as a means towards universal rebirth the highest goal an entity could aspire to?

I admit it is not a reasonable question, nor even an intellectually or spiritually valid question. Nonetheless, it kept coming up.

The struggled which led me into those predicaments came from an inability to escape dualism. Even though I thought I had escaped my own dogmas, I later understood that I had not. I was still grasping at an objective reality, an anchor made of scientific materialism, and that tendency fought against my desire to be liberated. I was seeking truth when truth was what I needed liberated from.

This ends predictably in a kind of ironic nihilism. The likes of which has become the new virtue signal for intelligence. My eventual liberation was personally empowering, but put me at complete odds with the certainties and objectivism which rule almost all human belief.

Since then I have tried to liberate others via my writings and interactions. The results have been unflattering, and often I just put myself at odds with people in a way that alienates each of us further.

But what if I was successful? What if I could make every single human being believe that there was no machine outside of the ghost? What if I could pull the anchor and disenchant all the certainties by which our creation of reality evolves?

Would I be saving us from ourselves or just spoiling our best trick, the ability to trick ourselves, for everybody?

Am I still acting out a destructive impulse?

If the only truth is, there can be no other truths, were widely believed, would it create new opportunities as I hope it would; or simply spiral us back into an existential singularity from which new illusions were created?

Even when armed with self-doubt and self-aware skepticism, we can still be destructive.

Ambition is potentially unsafe at any speed.

The Tao will not be digitalized.

2 thoughts on “Am I Trying to Destroy the Universe?

  1. The objective universe is an illusion. We each live in our own subjective reality. Which means that my response to you right now is a mere echo of your own mind reverberating thru the ether. Either you exist and I am merely your reflection (as well as all other beings/things) or I exist and you (and all other beings/things) are merely my own reflection/echo coming back to me. I think I’ll have another cup coffee.


    1. Minds are not objects. We do not need to throw out the baby with bathwater. We can resist the temptation to view the objective experience literally, without denying other agencies of awareness interact with us in their own version of it.
      I think its time for tea!


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