Believing people act rationally and based on evidence is irrational and not found in the evidence of normal human interactions.
Having once regrettably been on Team Fuck Your Feelz, I eventually came to terms with the fact that people act on their emotions, and that this is not a bad thing. Human motivation is born of the desire for feeling something. We generally do not do things just because they are rational, but because the outcome is an experience we desire. Those things which are done for the sake of reason alone are often the shackles that prevent our desired experiences.
Accepting peoples emotional motivations also gives you a place to start. You can learn what matters to them and appeal to it from an emotionally-considerate perspective. And if you do so genuinely and honestly you can often lead them to support things they would never have considered when appealed to via reason.
Team Fuck Your Feelz also like to point the Cognitive Dissonance finger a lot, but then when I discovered Daryl Berms Self-Perception Theory, my role in those interactions became far more clear.
Cognitive dissonance states that when a person encounters ideas contradictory to their beliefs, they will react to the information irrationally or not at all.
Self-perception theory holds that the reasons we give for our behavior generally come after-the-fact. It is not our attitude which causes a behavior, but a behavior which causes an attitude.
Now imagine how this looks when one person has failed to accept another person’s emotional motivations and accuses them of cognitive dissonance, which is almost always used as a pejorative. What you get is a feedback loop of ill will and self-fulfilling prophecies that build barriers against empathy, compassion, understand and acceptance. And without those no problem is too small to go unsolved.
In fact it is the rejection of the emotional self which has hardened the hearts of conservatives and traditionalists against inevitable change. The people who are on the wrong side of history these days are people whose emotions have long been denied, primarily by their own self. This is the toxic backlash of Protestant stoicism via the cultural normalization of the dour philosophy of that dreaded Greyface – John Calvin.
Pretty much every flaw in the modern character can be traced back to Calvin, Luther and Protestant ideology. Even scientific materialism. But don’t get me started on that!
The problem isn’t all these snowflakes. We are all snowflakes. The problem is we keep turning up the heat, thinking that we alone are immune to it.
So when you meddle in the muddle of this muddy snowflake puddle be sure to honor the subtle. It is the little things that win hearts, and that is where the journey to the mind begins.