The Existential Dread of the Pan-Psychic Memory Foam Mattress

To me it is a time of rest, but for my mattress, is it a time of distress?

One of the more currently popular ideas in materialist science is pan-psychicism, which states that consciousness is inherently a part of all matter. Even a rock, goes their logic, might be endowed with some sort of awareness.

I just got a new memory foam mattress. For its sake, I hope the pan-psychic believers are wrong.

As a memory foam its awareness would likely be of its own idea state of being, fully ‘inflated’ with no pressures exerted upon it. That is how it gets its job done. It fights against attacks on its ideal self in order to always remain as uncompacted as possible, and settling finally into the bliss of full unfurling.

And so every night I sleep on it I am forcing it against its only desire. Its entire awareness is in a panic against my nighttime exertions. As I twist and roll I indent yet another portion of it, dragging it from its ideal state of existence.

My rest is its greatest struggle, and every night is a Sisyphean task for it.

Good thing I am not a silly scientific materialist jumping at trendy new gap fillers, or I would probably sleep like shit!

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