Ready or Not, Here I Am!

Summary

The future is full of technological threats we cannot even imagine. But how far away is that future and what are we doing to prepare ourselves for it? For most people the answer is, ‘Nothing.’ This is where I come in. I have trained extensively in the skills that will be necessary to eradicate rogue technologies. What does that make me? Your insurance policy against the inevitable, unless you wish to be squashed beneath the metal soles of souless machine monsters, you are gonna need a guy like me by your side eventually.

Career Highlights

Experience

Janitor
Spunkys Arcade and Adult Entertainment Emporium
August 1997 – Present (16 years 11 months) • Nopupu, Iowa
I specialize in sanitation protocol, biohazardous waste management, traction inspection, UV light operator, security and special ops.

Education

Beardgarten Institute of Singularity Defense Strategies
Doctorate
Advanced Mek Combat and Survival
2001
Advanced studies in combat strategies, skills and crisis management. Over 5,000 hours of coursework. Training indefinite.

Certifications

Professor Emeritus Online Courses: Butlerian Jihad, Asimov and Robotics, THX1138
Center For The Study of Science Fiction
February 2008
Oversee curriculum and coursework for three academic courses in speculative fiction which I also act as Professor Emeritus over online classes.
Iron Palms Training Method
American Martial Arts Certified Professionals
November 2001
Certified martial arts expert and instructor. Master in the deadly art of Iron Palms as well as a black belt nearly seven other martial arts.

Professional Memberships/Awards

Interests

Skills

  • Hand to hand combat effective also against non human and inorganic targets. (Expert)
  • Weaponry use, construction and management. (Expert)
  • Programming, counterprogramming and digital espionage. (Expert)
  • Survival: rural and urban. Including self sufficiency and resource management. (Expert)
  • Techsidermy. (Expert)

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