It is my goal in life to become a household name. I shall stop at nothing less than creating a legacy of my life that will go down in history alongside Socrates, Jesus Christ and Machiavelli. The future itself will seem in retrospect like an invention of mine. My immediate objective is to gain a foothold from which I might lift myself to higher heights and cast off into the wind of my glorious destiny. Wouldn’t you like to be in that historical footnote? The launch pad of the crucial crux of future civilization, this is what I offer you. Hiring me is a small price to pay.
During 9/11 I was in NewYork doing a benefit for amputee orphans. I was in adjacent building when the towers fell and as the power went out I was stuck in an elevator with a woman who was on her way to give birth. I ended up delivering her child and using CPR to keep it alive until we were rescued, as the baby was born with a heart defect that I luckily recognized immedietaly. Today that child is a ten year old harpsicord prodigy who mastered the instrument after I gave her one lesson. I have invented several things and have recieved many patents. The one that I am most proud of is a device that adapts negative atmospheric energy into pure love and laughter. Also, a random time machine.
- Society of Discord POEE
- Pure Rock Fury
- Bringing The Pain Then Making Sure It Gets Home Safely Afterwards.
- Inventiveness (Expert)
- Megacharm (Expert)
- Face Gardening (Expert)
- Just Knowing What Is Right or Wrong (Expert)
- Rhyme Management (Expert)