The jumping began in my dreams. These dreams were incredibly vivid although they were never the same dream. Only the jumping connected them. At first the jumps were very small but as the dream would go on I would be able to jump in exponentially accelerating leaps and bounds. Over time I was able to jump great distances from the onset of the dream. It seems that I had learned the skill in that other world and could now perform it without question. In some dreams I jumped to escape and in others just for the sheer joy and beauty of the activity. The jumping was accompanied by a weak sense of being able to float. As if I could will my mass to such a low density that gravities effects on it were weakened dramatically; but not totally. For a very long time these were nothing more than highly welcomed dreams. But then I began an experiment.
I began with the assumption that physical reality was an illusion of consciousness necessary during this stage in the increase of complexity. Not that it was an immutable truth. I also had a hunch that dreams were the more pure form of our consciousness; untethered from physical reality yet interchangeable with many of the symbols, archetypes and experiences within it. More simply put I began to believe that the wall between dreams and reality was not so great as to keep me from jumping over it.
There was a long period of failure. My initial attempts were the most comical of all. I began by trying to jump in place. My efforts to will the concentration were mangled sums of physical strain. I realized with much internal laughter that if my plan were to shit myself with enough force to nullify gravity, this was the method to pursue. That, however, was not my aim. So I began studying and using yogic techniques to escape the space-time velocity of my mind and enter the realm of pure mind while still awake. As pleasant as that was it was just another form of dreaming. One night during this time I had one of the jumping dreams again and I remembered an important fact. The jumping always began with running.
I fucking hated running. It seemed like such an animalistic form of narcissism that I had no interest in it. Nonetheless, I began running. A lot. And I kind of liked it. Not at first, of course. At first it was dull and painful and frustrating. The constant movement of cars, bicycles, pedestrians and other runners made the chore seem more like a burden than an exercise in evolving. So I began running outside of town on trails or through woods and other open spaces and soon it began to make sense. It was not just about running. It was about becoming aware of the environment, I had to anticipate each footfall in those rugged terrains and adjust accordingly. Suddenly running became an activity of my mind as much of as my body. I later learned to adapt the techniques to rural situations but the feedback was too much to learn the basics in.
By this point I had really gotten into running. My first step into jumping was developing a sort of rural parkour. Trees and rocks and watersheds provided the perfect places for my growing sport. Like a perfect animal I was able to negotiate the wilds physically beyond the abilities of any other living human I knew of. And from this the jumping just sort of emerged. I soon found myself taking great leaps followed by several more. I was a pouncing machine, like a supernatural big cat, able to leap in greater bounds with each successive one until the treetops themselves were visible to me. I began to become aware of a feeling that accompanied these actions. It was constant deja vu. I always had the sensation that I was just at where I now was. But this was happening every second as if I were experiencing time as a linear progression of loops. Becoming aware of this feeling caused me to concentrate on it to the point where I was soon unable to jump beyond just superior human abilities.
I had an inclination to understand the dynamics of what I had been doing in the woods so I began fumbling through mathematics, biology and other scientific disciplines to understand it. What I was led to believe after much research is that what I had been accomplished was technically impossible because the human brain was not capable of operating the body machinery at optimum enough levels. The basic ingredients for these abilities lied within the machinery but the programming did not allow processing to access memory at a high enough rate to maximize sufficient uses of available energy. Science seemed to suggest, in the end, that humans could not perform these feats because humans could not perform these feats. It was a futile exercise in recursive defeatism.
One day I was sitting around smoking cannabis and decided to try staring at the dial clock on the wall for an entire hour. For the first half an hour it was the most boring fucking thing I had ever done. Slowly it began to become disorientating until the hands of the clock disappeared altogether. Only by thinking about a time would the hands emerge to evidence it. By concentration I became able to move the hands in such a steady pace as to keep time. Or at least keep it steady. I have no idea if my internal sense of time that powered that clock was anywhere close to objective time because at the end of the experiment I fell directly to sleep. Before that, however, I began to sense another form of dissonance in my relation to the clock. If I was controlling the hands of the clock not only was I controlling time but by controlling the relative physical positions of the hand I was also controlling space. Suddenly the clockwork of entire Universe both inside and outside of my mind were perfectly in synch. So much so that I realized they had never been distinct to begin with. I realized that both time and space and all of reality were a product of anticipation and then I just sort of napped out.
When I awoke I went for a run. As I ran I began to anticipate every movement before it happened until my self awareness was such that my anticipation no longer had to be informed by the known physical laws. If I wanted to jump several meters over a few acres of woodland I just created a mental image of the action in which every point across the arc of the jump was anticipated just a moment before my body arrived there, but my anticipation was always formed by new data and new perceptions along the way so that I could make necessary adjustments. I ran all night long into ever more complex maneuvers and jumps into the morning when I think a farmer might have spotted me. I decided to head home.
The walk home was full of many revelations beginning with the realization that I was not tired. Well, I was a bit tired but that was because of how long it had been since I had slept; however I realized my body was not tired. As if it had suffered no indignation at such a workout. I began to wonder that all of my life my body had been made to serve under my limited brain but rarely did my mind have access to it. Now it was as if my body were obeying the mind alone in those intense moments and was therefore not restricted by the physical realities which brain was a constant subject to. Brain and body were necessary to create the conditions in which mind needed to evolve but our consciousness was not to be limited to them once we had mastered that reality. Religion, science and politics had been attempting to master that reality since the dawn of humanity but for the express purpose of controlling it and not for escaping it. To become more than meat we needed new priorities. And fast.
My first priority became then to share this with the world. As I ran at night I began to formulate a plan but then I one night I became aware that I was not alone. At first my mamallian instincts were of fear and paranoia. I could not make out this other thing or being that galloped through the wood with me. Soon this gave way to competiveness as whatever it was seemed to posses skills even far beyond my own. Eventually though it became kind of a dance. We leaped together in what can best be described as melodies and harmonies and as the beauty of that sank in I began to laugh as loud as I ever have; tears streaming down my face at the sheer excitement of it. Through my own laughter I began to hear another voice laughing and I was suddenly overcome with what can be best described as a sense of love the likes of which I had never known. I became overwraught with this to the point that I needed to stop and just let let that moment overcome me. And so I did and when I came to my senses she was sitting there beside me.
“Nice night for a run, no?”
She was beautiful in a sense so deep that it could not be accounted for by physical beauty. She seemed to glow of joy and self-possession and knowledge all of which she radiated as a simple matter of fact of her being.
“Who are you?” I asked.
She laughed. “I am you and you are me and all is one. I thought you had figured that out by now?”
She continued laughing but it was not perverse as in mockery. It was joyful and sharing and inviting so I laughed with her and that kinda answered my question.
“Okay, I get it. But who are you in that other sense.”
“My name is Satori and I am like you. A jumper. It started in your dreams, didn’t it?”
We talked well into the next morning about our experiences. The dreams, the jumping, but most of all the mind. She explained to me that there were others, too. Not everyone jumped. Some flew, some dived and some did things that wouldn’t make sense in the waking world. But they all had one connection. They had started in dreams. She said that humanity had begun to wake up from the limitations of its waking physical reality. That some of us were already beginning to move beyond this plane of existence altogether into another place of pure mind. Like a world of dreams but with distinct seperate consciousnesses interacting of their own free will. Finally she told me that she would likely be going there soon and that I would follow.
“You will have to say goodbye in your own way. Once you are gone it will be as if you never existed or they will concoct some permutation of reality in which you died amongst them. And not all of them will follow. Sadly, most will not. It was necessary for that reality to create an abundance of interacting minds in order to produce those that would be able to progress past them. Many of those entities you call humans will just go on living as they always have until slowly when all of the great minds have evolved past them they will begin to stagnate and regress in that limited reality. I believe you have already seen this happening. It is unlikely that many if any people you know will join us in the new plane on which we will exist. So say goodbye however you wish but just remember that you will either be forgotten or your absence excused by conventional means. Telling them about all of this will not be of any use to them. When it is your time to move on you will meet one like yourself and prepare them for the journey as I have done with you.”
She embraced me in a way that went beyond physical. We temporarily became as one and shared everything we had ever known and I learned more from her what would be happening to me. This embrace seemed to last an eternity and I awoke that afternoon alone in the woods. There was a young man running through the forest. He ran right past me in great leaps and bounds hardly making any noise except the sounds of self satisfaction with his newfound abilities.
I go running every night and watch him without letting him know that I am there. He is progressing fantastically although differently than I did. I hardly belong to the waking world anymore. When I am not running I am sleeping somewhere out of the way living in those dream simulations of where I am heading. I have written this all out many times and then destroyed it. Should anyone ever find this it will seem like a work of madness or fiction. Nonetheless I am compelled to write it if only to understand it myself.
I cannot concentrate anymore. This world, this reality…it is like a stranger to me. It is like the sensation of pressing ones thumb to their finger in heavy gloves as opposed to without them. The young man seems to have come to understand as much of the mystery he is embroiled in as he will on his own. Tonight I shall jump with him.
For what it is worth, I love you and will miss you very much. Even when we become one anothers memories or fictions. If I don’t see you on the other side I hope the end is not too hard on you. It may not be too late for you. We are all children but somewhere along the way we lost our imaginations. If you can recapture that from your dreams you too may just have a chance to grow up with us. So find love of your dreams so you may yet find dreams of your love. Love will bring us all back together to a place where we cannot harm one another and instead act as coauthors of the most beautiful existence we can imagine. Love beckons and now I shall go be with it.